Loki_Six

"A woman born in 1981. Arrested for assault in Gamla Stan in 1998, when they were fingerprinted. Her name is Lisbeth Salander. She seems reasonable disturbed. She is legally incompetent and have a guardian. Guess who is the guardian? Lawyer Nils Bjurman. The owner of the murder weapon in Enskede. She was violent already in school. Set in psychiatry as a decade. Likely to sell her body. And documented violent tendencies."

"Lisbeth is a young woman who's a bit...well, special, shall we say. Please don't be fooled by her appearance, she's our best researcher."

I can't live with Joey once the baby comes. I don't want my child's first words to be, "How you doin'?"

Rachel: I know, but one girl told me she loved me so I just gave her everything. Phoebe: No wonder you're pregnant.

What do you think is a better excuse for why I'm not drinking on this date tonight, "I'm a recovering alcoholic", "I'm a Mormon", or "I got so hammered last night I'm still a little drunk."?

"Years ago when I was backpacking through western Europe I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo, I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing, there was a very secluded lake and there were tall trees all around, it was dead silent and across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying..."

"I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!"

"Right. Chandler still thinks I'm pregnant. He hasn't asked me how I feel, or offered to carry my bags. I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. After you, of course."

This reminds me of a joke. This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says, "Now wait, let me get this strait. You're tryin' to tell me you'll bet me $300 that you can piss, standing over here, way over there into that glass, and not spill a single drop?" Customer looks up and says, "That's right." Bartender says, "Young man, you got a bet." The guy goes, "Okay, here we go. Here we go." Pulls out his thing. He's lookin' at the glass, man. He's thinkin' about the glass. He's thinkin' about the glass. Glass. He's thinkin' about the glass, glass. Thinkin' about his dick. Dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass. And then, *foosh*, he lets it rip. And he-he's pisses all over the place, man. He's pissin' on the bar. He pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender! He's pissing everywhere *except* the fucking glass! Right? Okay. So, bartender, he's laughing his fuckin' ass off. He's $300 richer. He's like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Piss dripping off his face. "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" He says, "You fucking idiot, man! You got it in everything except the glass! You owe me $300 punta." Guy goes, "Excuse me just one-one little second." Goes in the back of the bar. In back, there's a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them. Comes back to the bar. Goes, "Here you go, Mr. Bartender, 300." And the bartender's like, "What the fuck are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot!" The guy says, "Well, see those guys over there? I just bet them $500 a piece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on you, and not only would you not be mad about it, you'd be happy."

"Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN'T?"