Griffinovci

Stewie, look at this. "September 1, 1939." There's something about that date. (07.02.2019)

"Let's see what fascinating pubescent treasures Chris has got hidden away. Ooh, Hustler magazine. I finally get to see what a vagina looks... Oh, God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You can't hurt anyone anymore." (07.02.2019)

"Hello, my name's Johnny Knoxville and I'm gonna take a shotgun blast in the face! Okay, ready?" (08.02.2019)

"Oh my god, who the hell cares?" (08.02.2019)

"God, Joe, finally. Is your watch paralyzed too?" (08.02.2019)

"See that? Fifty noes and a yes means yes." (08.02.2019)

"If Conway Twitty isn't enough to lighten you up, what is it gonna take? A Minotaur with Sean Connery's head?" (08.02.2019)

"Lois, if it makes you feel any better, I'm thinking about her every time I masturbate to her." (08.02.2019)

"I'm sorry. I just don't see any evidence. I mean, look at the Hubble Telescope. It's discovered untold wonders of a vast, unexplored universe, but not one picture of a guy with a beard sitting around on a cloud. I mean, what's he doing up there?" (08.02.2019)

"No, no. Pot is illegal because William Randolph Hearst ran a smear campaign against marijuana in the 1930s to protect his interests in the timber industry, because hemp was poised to replace wood as an inexpensive raw material for the manufacture of paper." (13.02.2019)

"Well, if there's anyone I can trust it's a stranger at the gym holding a dirty needle!" (13.02.2019)

"Look, I was drunk out of my mind. I didn't know what I was doing. It was a one-night thing. I have no interest in dating one of those shallow idiot celebrities who's only famous for being famous." (13.02.2019)

Everybody still awake? Alright, big finish. Now, you remember that Stephen King story where the guy went up to the empty hotel and there were those creepy twins and the guy was running around with that ax and the kid talked to his finger? Ah ha, can't you see Stewie doing that? Well, here's "The Shawshank Redemption". (13.02.2019)

"Hey, coachman, let's drive on the left side of the road and see if that catches on." (13.02.2019)

You know, that's the difference between you and me, Lois. When life comes knocking at the door, you go and hide in the kitchen. I fling the door wide open and I say, "Peter Griffin here. What do you got?" (16.02.2019)

"Oh, God, let's go, quick! Here comes an overweight cat with dollar signs for eyes and a hat that says "Social Security" pouring a bucket that says "Alternative Minimum Tax" over a sad Statue of Liberty holding a "Democracy" umbrella!" (14.02.2019)

"Jews are gross, Lois. It's the only religion with the word 'ew' in it." (14.02.2019)

"My gosh, that Italian family at the next table is really quiet." (15.02.2019)

"Road House." (15.02.2019)

"Miss Cyrus, I ask you to stop what you're doing. I don't just mean this. I mean everything. The show, the music, it's all just awful." (15.02.2019)