Loki_Six

That's nice. But when I said "snacks," I mean wine.

"But Stephen Hawking's my hero. Imagine if you got a chance to see Jesus, or Dad got to meet the man who invented beer."

"For your information, Sheldon does not look down on women. He looks down on everyone."

"I promise thinking too much has never been my problem."

"Rock, paper, scissors, candy, pony!"

"It turned out I was really good at listening. The trick is to sit there, and when you want to leave, don't."

The "Hot Beverage of Comfort" would become my go-to method of dealing with someone in emotional distress. And it always worked. Except when my wife was in labor, where it was suggested I throw it in my own face.

"I would slam this door right now, but it would startle me, so just imagine I did."

"In many ways, a high school is like an academic house of horrors. There's the cafeteria, which when even freshly cleaned, maintains a subtle aroma of tater tots and throw-up. The schoolyard, where one is exposed to bullying by delinquents and attacks from above by eye-pecking demons. But all of these pale in comparison to the most horrific location of all. A place teeming with the sweat and secretions from hundreds of unwashed bodies. The swimming pool."

"For a good Christian lady, you sure do lie a lot."